Be Nice

A lesson from Road House, hospitality, and handling feedback like a pro

I’ve written before about how great movie scenes can serve as leadership lessons — and one of my all-time favorites comes from an unexpected place: Road House. Yes, Road House. That 1989 cult classic where Patrick Swayze plays a legendary “cooler” named Dalton, brought in to clean up a rough-and-tumble bar called the Double Deuce.

It’s not the Ritz-Carlton of hospitality, but the message Dalton gives his team in their first pre-shift meeting could just as easily be delivered in a five-star resort or a world-class private club.

His advice?
“Be nice.”

He tells his team:
If someone insults you, be nice.
If they get in your face, be nice.
If you have to escort someone out, be nice.
And when someone calls you a certain impolite compound noun — one that starts with “c” and ends with “sucker” — still be nice.
(Road House fans will remember the scene. For everyone else, you get the idea.)

Dalton’s reasoning?
It’s a job. It’s not personal.

That right there is the lesson. In hospitality — and especially in private clubs — we work in feedback-rich environments. That feedback can come from members, guests, coworkers, or committee chairs. And if you let it, it can get under your skin.

But the truth is, most of it isn’t personal.
We don’t know what kind of day someone had before they walked in.
We don’t know how they were raised, what their stress level is, or what’s going on in their life that made them respond the way they did.

Our job is to meet them with professionalism. With kindness. With grace.

And that’s not just a philosophy for high-tension moments — it applies in everyday service as well.

Think about the last time you went through a takeout window or a checkout line and weren’t even greeted with eye contact. The look that says, “Why are you even here?” can be deflating — even when it has nothing to do with you.

But then you smile. Ask, “How’s your day going?” Compliment their earrings. Say thank you.
Service changes. Energy changes. Everything changes.
Not because of a script, but because you made a real human connection.

That’s hospitality.
That’s leadership.
That’s what Dalton meant when he said, “Be nice.”

We all need reminders sometimes.
Smiles are free — give them away.
Make eye contact. Be present. Be kind.
And whatever you do, don’t take it personally.