Most people don’t realize this, but “I know” can be one of the most limiting phrases in leadership.

Not because of what you mean when you say it, but because of what others hear.

Instead of confidence, it often signals closure. Instead of curiosity, it signals finality. And over time, it can quietly shut down the very feedback and coaching that help people grow.

People like to believe decisions are made with logic. They’re not. They’re made with emotion, then justified with facts. The same is true in an interview. Long before a candidate evaluates compensation, strategy, or structure, they are asking a simpler question. How did this experience feel? Did I feel welcomed, respected, and valued? Or did I feel like a transaction? Emotion comes first. It always does.

Most leadership conflicts are not about right and wrong. They are about perspective. In this Viewpoint, I explore the discipline of stepping into the other side of an argument and understanding what is truly being protected. When leaders become attached to being right, they often stop trying to understand. This article is about challenging that instinct, lowering tension, and building clarity by learning to see situations through a different lens before trying to resolve them.