Most leaders get the order wrong. Some avoid discomfort entirely and soften expectations. Others add pressure before trust exists. Both fail. Growth requires tension, but resistance without safety creates injury. The question is not whether to push. It is whether the people being pushed feel safe enough to grow.

Most people don’t realize this, but “I know” can be one of the most limiting phrases in leadership.

Not because of what you mean when you say it, but because of what others hear.

Instead of confidence, it often signals closure. Instead of curiosity, it signals finality. And over time, it can quietly shut down the very feedback and coaching that help people grow.

People like to believe decisions are made with logic. They’re not. They’re made with emotion, then justified with facts. The same is true in an interview. Long before a candidate evaluates compensation, strategy, or structure, they are asking a simpler question. How did this experience feel? Did I feel welcomed, respected, and valued? Or did I feel like a transaction? Emotion comes first. It always does.