The Power of “Tell Me More”
What Happens When You Stop Reacting
Most leaders think they’re good listeners because they hear what people say. But listening isn’t about waiting for your turn to respond — it’s about being curious enough to understand what’s really being said. And one of the simplest, most powerful tools you can use is a three-word phrase:
“Tell me more.”
Those words do something most leaders don’t realize they’re missing: they create space. Space for honesty. Space for clarity. Space for the real issue to surface before you rush to fix the wrong problem.
Listening Isn’t Staying Quiet
Silence is not the same as listening. Too many leaders pause just long enough to gather their response. They assume they understand the situation based on the first sentence, the tone, or their own filters. The conversation becomes a reaction, not a discovery.
“Tell me more” interrupts that reflex. It signals interest without judgment. It slows down the impulse to correct, solve, defend, or advise. It replaces assumption with curiosity and people feel the difference immediately.
Curiosity Changes What You Learn
When someone brings you an issue, frustration, resistance, conflict, confusion, what they start with is almost never the whole story. They test you first. They lead with the safest version. Most leaders react to that version and miss the real message.
But when you respond with “tell me more,” a few important things happen:
Defensiveness drops
Details surface
Tone softens
Intent becomes clearer
Emotion becomes safer to name
You didn’t solve anything yet, you just opened the door.
Leaders Lose Clarity by Jumping In
Quick reactions feel efficient in the moment, but they create long-term problems. A leader who interrupts with answers, assumptions, or corrections sends the message: “I’ve already decided what this is.”
And when people don’t feel heard, they don’t open up. They shut down, soften the truth, or take their real thoughts elsewhere.
“Tell me more” does the opposite, it tells them, “I’m not finishing your sentence for you. I actually want to understand.”
The Phrase That Builds Trust
You don’t need to agree with someone to listen well. You don’t need to solve the issue on the spot. You don’t even need to have a next step ready.
You just need to be curious.
“Tell me more” lowers the temperature. It buys you time. It makes the other person feel respected, not managed. When people experience that consistently, they stop bracing for impact and start bringing you the truth sooner.
Listening That Leads, Not Listens
Strong leaders don’t listen passively, they listen with intent. They know that reacting too quickly can shut down the very insight they need to lead well.
“Tell me more” isn’t about being soft. It’s about being smart. It gives you information before you decide what to do with it. And the more you understand, the less you have to clean up later.
Leadership isn’t about having the right answer first. It’s about asking the question that brings the right answer to the surface.
And it starts with three words: tell me more.
